


Drowning

by noblydonedonnanoble



Category: Doctor Who RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-22
Updated: 2012-10-22
Packaged: 2017-11-16 20:51:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/543694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noblydonedonnanoble/pseuds/noblydonedonnanoble





	Drowning

He never asks her about David.

Jason used to bring him up on a regular basis, which damn near drove Catherine mad. On the one hand, she appreciated knowing that he thought she was worth feeling defensive over. On the other, she hated that so little as an advert for Virgin Media sparked his questions. 

Adrian told her flat-out that he doesn’t care about her past, so long as he’s her present. A touching sentiment. 

Catherine firmly believes that she doesn’t deserve such courtesy. While Jason’s concern was frustrating and unyielding, Adrian’s supposed lack of curiosity is, perhaps, far more disconcerting. She almost expects him to phone some day and say, “So let’s talk about the rumors.” Perhaps he’d even bring it up while they were actually together, so that they could have some intimate, heart-felt discussion about another time in her life, that time before him. And he would hold her close, make her feel safe and wanted and loved. She wants very little so much as she wants that.

But their relationship presses onwards, and he still says nothing. 

Even though her heart is in the present, more often than she’d like to admit she dwells on the past. Because David lurks everywhere.

Songs come on the radio that they used to sing, and she switches the station.

A rerun of _Doctor Who_ on BBC America prompts her to turn off the telly.

He even ruined Shakespeare for her, quoting it all over the place so that there’s hardly a play she can watch anymore—they’re all tied to David, and his whispered words in her ear as they lounged about her flat on lazy Sunday afternoons. 

She lies awake at night, asking herself why Adrian makes no inquiries about the rumors. 

Maybe he thinks that Catherine is too good of a person to even consider having an affair with a married man. After all, there was a time when _she_ thought so; if she could so easily fool herself, why on earth shouldn’t she be able to fool him, too?

On occasion, David calls her when she’s with Adrian. Perhaps he sees the caller ID before she has time to reject the call. He’ll nudge her, say, “Go on, then. I’ve got you right here. There’s no sense in keeping you to myself, especially from your best mate.” So she picks up. And if either of them can tell that she’s on edge, they don’t say. David tells her about a new role while Adrian plays with her hair. These calls, though, never last long. Catherine always feels paranoid, finds herself worrying that she’ll slip up and say something wrong in front of Adrian—something that would make it absolutely necessary to discuss those rumors that he currently seems so willing to ignore.

Eventually, she decides to go home for a week. When he asks if she wants him to come, Catherine is all excuses. “This is mostly so I can visit Erin and my mum.” “I wouldn’t have much time for you.” “I don’t want to drag you overseas and then not spend any time with you.”

He insists that she wouldn’t exactly be _dragging_ him anywhere, and that he would be all too happy to come.  These protests are entirely disregarded; when Catherine goes home, she finds herself on the plane alone.

And there’s David on the other side, greeting her with a wide grin. She falls into his arms and she’s submerged, drowning.

Because with him, Catherine is always drowning.

She calls Adrian every morning and evening, and on more than one occasion, David is lying beside her, fingers playing with her hair and tracing patterns on her skin.

There's something very wrong with this picture. Catherine sees it clearly, but feels powerless to stop it. How can she stop David from always ending up in her bed? 

How can she actually move past the past?

When Adrian picks her up from the airport, he gives her a hug and a kiss and she delights in how alive he makes her feel. Even better, she thinks, than drowning.

It's in the car when she says it: "Adrian, I think it's about time we talk about David."

"Are you sure?" He looks so concerned. "I've told you before, Cath… I don't want you to feel—"

"I'm sure." Because it's not for his sake; it's for hers.

Maybe, just maybe, he can help her stay afloat.


End file.
